My NaNoWriMo Word Count Widgets!

Friday 27 April 2012

Fresh panic...

....according to a 20 minute interview with a nurse who didn't have any of my medical records and hadn't spoken to my psychiatrist OR psychologist, I'm fit for work.  The fact I go to the supermarket means I'm able to cope with unplanned changes....if anyone can work that one out, please let me know!  And, despite the fact Lovely Boyfriend had to drive me to the assessment centre, I'm able to go to unknown places on my own!  Grr.... 

Combined with some grumblings with ex-hubby, it's meant another week of not much writing.  However, I've now entered Agoraphobics Anonymous into Mayhem (a fun competition on Authonomy where something like 120 books battle it out to see which one gets the most votes).  I'd already entered Hospital Corners, but we were running short in a couple of groups and I volunteered Ag Anon to fill a slot.  SO - despite all the stress and worry I have about things out of my control, I'm going to spend my morning working on Ag Anon, because that IS within my control.  Oh...and sending my psychologist a very long, rambling, panicky text message asking for her help!

Saturday 21 April 2012

Panic over...

...the book, I mean.  I've finally worked my way through all of "When Panic Attacks" and now the fun begins!  I've typed up pages of notes about all the different techniques I think I might use in Ag Anon and I'm going to print them out then cut them up into the different exercises/discussions.  Then I'll be able to work out some sort of order for them to appear in....I can't have the anti-procrastination section if Angie hasn't been procrastinating over step 1 of her anxiety ladder; and she can't create an anxiety ladder if she hasn't first partaken of her panic pizza; and she can't do that until she's....you see what I mean? 

I find it utterly ironic, by the way, that the chapter I kept stopping at was the one covering procrastination! 

Anyway  - I'm hoping the toga scene will get written next week before Lovely Boyfriend gets home and I get all distracted through not seeing him for so long (2 weeks tomorrow - boo!)  Then I'll be taking much of the following week off as we're taking dog and caravan to Inverness for a few days - lovely.

Why a toga? Well, why not....

Wednesday 18 April 2012

A day of rest....

...after a busy day yesterday.  Perhaps I was being overly ambitious - an hour of Zumba in the morning followed by an hour of dancing for Fame in the evening?  I'm very aware of some of my muscles today.....

Rehearsals are going well for Fame and the show is going to be a lot of fun.  A lot of hard work but very enjoyable.  There were quite a few grunts, snorts and giggles last night as we attempted a basic lift!  I must say it's nice to have an almost equal number of males and females for a change! 

How's Ag Anon going, I hear you ask (and if you weren't asking, well I must be hearing things!)?  Pretty well, although I've had to stop for a few days for more research.  I'm sitting at just over 14,000 words now, and it's all uploaded at www.authonomy.com/books/43276/agoraphobics-anonymous
I already have 3 very positive comments and 4 backers (how many of them will be long-term remains to be seen!). 

Today I'm going to add in some emails between Tracey (the Ag Anon moderator) and Rhona (the psychiatrist who devised the programme).  If you've read Hospital Corners, you'll remember Rhona.  She was Esme's flatmate and friend during their nurses training, before training in psychiatry and counselling Stewart.  She was Dr B's mentor for a few years before retiring, and now she's helping out Tracey, a recovering alcoholic and agoraphobic.  She's also Ryan's Auntie R (although I should probably make mention that she's his Great-Aunt, seeing as she's in her mid to late 70s by this point!).

As for Hospital Corners - it's still doing the rejection rounds of agents.  I've had 6 definite rejections and can only presume that the remaining 9 agents are also going to say no.  In another 4 weeks I'll send off round 2 and see if that has any better luck.  It might help that I can now reference my latest book, to show I'm not planning on being a one-trick pony. 

So saying, I'd better get cracking!  And I've just realised that I made myself a cup of tea over an hour ago and it's still sitting in the kitchen.....

Wednesday 4 April 2012

Still researching...

...although I'm starting to get a stronger idea of the shape of the work Angela and David will go through in their bid to overcome Agoraphobia.  The people in Bath weren't helpful in the end, but I've got a couple of books of my own which are providing some structure, and I've borrowed a copy of Alcoholics Anonymous "12 steps and Traditions" because I want Agoraphobics Anonymous to run on similar lines, but with a heaping of CBT and Exposure Therapy on the side.  Agoraphobics Anonymous really is the place for those people who have given up hope of ever living a reasonable life ever again. 

I'm hoping to have enough of a structure in place so I can get back to being creative and break that first 10,000 word barrier in the next week...but I'm struggling at the moment with my own mental health issues.  I'm in the middle of being "assessed" by the Department for Work and Pensions for my benefits and they may force me back into work....I'll tell you - researching Agoraphobia has kicked off even more of my own issues!  Under some of the criteria given in these self-help books, I'm bordering on it myself!  And I'm trying not to push myself into doing the exercises in the place of Angela and David - I've got enough to deal with with all my other "issues"!  So, I've had a few days feeling rather overwhelmed by the number of things I "could" be working on, and wondering how many I "should" be working on....combine that with a tight rehearsal schedule for my next show in September and there's one stressed out chocoholic at the moment (never good when Easter is just around the corner and the shops are full of cheap deals!). 

Never mind - I'm hoping things will settle down in the next week or so and I can start feeling happy with my life again.  Poor Lovely Boyfriend has had to put up with many tearful sessions while I try and explain that even though I'm getting depressed, I'm actually happy with things...honestly!